Below are the 18 most recent journal entries recorded in freeexpression0's LiveJournal:

Friday, August 24th, 2007
8:36 am	On Birthdays I don't much like birthdays. I'm now 19, and feel the exact same. True, I'm now older than some, but that just makes me feel old. I'm almos twenty. That's like fifty. Getting my life together. Growing up sucks, blah blah blah. I wish I would have done this sooner, get the shit outa the way then. I'm tired. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Thursday, June 21st, 2007
1:01 pm	I'm tired. I'm tired of failing and being the last one to get anything. I'm also tired of being the only one willing to struggle for what they believe in. Fuck this. I'm done. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 3rd, 2007
7:40 pm	Goatee Re-loaded? So I'm thinking about overhauling my entire body. I'm just ready for a change. Like, A LOT of change. Job, lifestyle, look, maybe even those personality quirks that bug me. I just want a life change. I just hope the people that are in my life on a constant basis support me in this. One can only hope. Current Mood: frustrated (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 12th, 2006
12:04 am	Wow.... Oh my. Justin has finally celebrated his 21st w/ friends. Wow. Just drunk dialed me. He's sweet. Vonne continues to vow her undieing love and yells at Justin when he jokingly says 'I hate you.' I love my friends. *heart* Current Mood: amused (Comment on this)
Friday, November 3rd, 2006
10:27 pm	Uggg... I'm hot, sweaty and pale. It's not a good thing. My throat hurts and I just feel shitty all together. Oh well. Current Mood: sick (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 29th, 2006
9:53 am	For One's Birthday, There Needs To Be A Word So I'm sitting at home, on Justin's computer, typing on LiveJournal. Yeah, it's just that amazing. It's making me feel very romantic and poetic. Lets see how that goes? Today is Your Birthday my love. True, I didn't get the hint on exactly what you wanted, but I'm giving my best shot on it. I know what you wanted and I couldn't get it. But dammit, I'm gonna make you happy. You've been a little sick, okay, a lotta sick, and it's all kinda meshed together, but that's okay. My mothering skills have gone on overdrive and I'm getting headaches from it. ;) I love you Justin. For the whole LJ community to know. I love Justin Surface. Yeah, that Justin Surface. The one that made you cry. *nods* *dances* Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)
Monday, October 23rd, 2006
6:56 pm	Nyuck Nyuck... I so love Justin's Family. Christina is the best. I'm craving sweet tea and I'm within reach. Long John Slivers might turn out to be worse than Wendy's. (The jury is still out, I loved Wendy's...) Creepy Shift Manager Rick scares me. Talks like he has marbles (or some similar object) in his mouth. I feel guard deprived. Must spin with frozen hands... Yay! Finally a reason to wear my really long/guady scarfs! Yeah, that's really it. *shrugs* Current Mood: thoughtful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
5:46 pm	Vonne no love me... So I totally confessed my heart out to Yvonne on AIM last night and she doesn't even show the love. How boink is that? I even gave her my patented pouty lip. :( Vonne no love me.... Current Mood: crushed (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, October 5th, 2006
9:49 pm	Your Heart Is Red You're a passionate lover - you always have a huge fire in your heart. Too bad it's hard for you to be passionate about just one person! Your flirting style: Outgoing and sexy Your lucky first date: Drinks and dancing Your dream lover: Is both stable and intense What you bring to relationships: Honesty What Color Heart Do You Have? (Comment on this)
9:28 pm	Untitled SAT shit. (1 blink.) Four hour long test on Saturday. (2 blinks.) Getting up at six in the mourning. (3 blinks and a yawn.) Getting my Shatzi. (Dancing all over the place with a tooter-hooter. {AKA, priceless}) Wow, I need a life. Current Mood: ditzy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
9:14 pm	C'est *BLAH!* I'm bored. Not the kinda bored that you complain about online to people you've never met. The kinda bored where you just wanna trip someone to actually do something. Justin is working. I'm possibly switching jobs (Which sucks cause I actually like working at Wendy's...) and I'm just working through a lot of crap lately. Our computers either got a virus or crashed at work today. I was giving away large drinks and chili's as if it were natural. Heh heh, it's interesting, I'm not the most bossiest of people, but they seem to jump when I tell them something. Except for that Brandon guy. He just needs to die. He doesn't do ANYTHING for ANYONE. Lunch rush is his time to wander about without helping. Yeah, he just needs to accidently fall off a cliff. It can happen, righ? I mean, Bloomington is BOUND to have cliffs somewhere... Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 28th, 2006
10:43 pm	Bah I'm tired. Gotta work tomorrow and Justin's classes have all been cancelled. I'm so sick of playing dodge the schedule with work and school. I'm going to see him half the day on friday and then saturday cause he got roped into working on sunday. Grrr... Cyber Cafe, I hate thee! (Comment on this)
2:27 pm	Headline: Romance Blows Up AGAIN! I'm just not going to try and surprise Justin at School/Work anymore, it gets me no where. He isn't even in his lab the entire block. Stupid teachers. When are they gonna stop being nice and end class on the time they should. Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
11:13 pm	Ah, the joys of being responsible... So here I stand at 11:13 PM Eastern Standard Time, in the Cyber Cafe faithfully waiting on my fiance, Justin Ryan. Now, what you all don't know is that I worked a ten and a half hour shift at Wendy's, followed by a brisk half hour walk to our appartment and then to the library. And previously, I was up at eight o'clock because I apparently pissed Justin off while I was sleeping and that wasn't a pretty thing to wake up to, so I spent the three hours before work cleaning our appartment. Whew... This being an adult thing sucks. What ever happened to the days when I didn't have to work cause my family wanted me to work on school? Or the days when the only thing on my mind was when I'd be talking or seeing Justin next and not worrying about the electric bill? I've got a daddy headache. Eh, just ranting now so I don't do it at home. I've discovered that there's always a better way out of an argument with the one you love/live with you don't start it in the first place. Don't talk about what you think isn't fair, it's childish. Don't rant about people at work doing their job, he doesn't care and it gets you no where. Don't always just go with the flow if you know there's a better way, and if there could be one, try and find it. I'm passing Justin Surface 101 but just barely. We have a rather odd little relationship, Justin and I. Like hobbits. Who bitch a lot. Yeah, that works. Eh, gotta love him. Some have said they do and can't handle him for too long. I say "I've been with him for almost a year now, I think I can take a few dozen more..." God, I'm such a drama queen. *rolls eyes* Current Mood: lethargic (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 26th, 2006
8:14 pm	The Rick Files, Eps. 2 So, Rick sent me a new e-mail. This was a long one, and believe me, the man needs to learn the basic paragraph rules, but I waded through it. I thought I might let ya'll (two people) see it so that you might understand how my day went from shitty to my wondering if I really am gay... Oh, and in typical bitchy fashion (thanks for that precious gift Justin) I put a running commentary as well... Hi Alex, Hi Rick I hope things are going well with you and thanks for emailing me back.  Eh, I needed a reason to be an ass. I'm not sure why you chose that exact word.   I can think of a few reasons... But I told you in my first email that I am gay.  Go figure, you hit me up on a teen gay dating site. Maybe you missed that somehow. Apparently, your saying your gay makes me think your straight. I'm assuming since you replied that you want to talk about what God says about homosexuality.   Dude, I was making fun of you, how is that replying? As I said before, I know this is a very touchy subject.  But I promise you that I want to be sensitive to your feelings about it. On one hand, he's trying to get on a touchy subject, which means he's handsy. On the other, he's trying to be suave and a gentleman. We hear a lot of things about being gay that are just not true.   Yep, he's straight. And that has caused a lot of confusion and hurt for a lot of people.  Maybe that is true in your case. And maybe you have also been hurt by people who just didn't understand your situation and were mean to you. That's what high school is for. But I want you to know that I really DO care.   But aren't you a little old? You won't find a person anywhere that cares more about guys dealing with this issue than I do.  My desire is to talk to you in a kind, compassionate, and understanding way.  And I love you with the love of Christ regardless of anything about you or your situation in life.   Well, if you insist... I really mean that. I'm sure you do daddy. O.o If you don’t mind, I want to explain to you how people became gay and how God provided a solution to that problem for us.   Aw, I hate it when they try to sound intelligent, it's such a straight guy thing. Just stick it to me, gah. And it is indeed a problem.   Like AIDS. As a matter of fact every human being has this problem or one that is very similar.   Like hemorrhoids. But all of these problems are in effect the same.  The Bible says that when God originally created Adam and Eve that they were perfect and exactly what He intended them to be.  But they sinned and messed up God's perfect creation.   Blame Eve, she just wanted Adam outa the way anyways to have her dominating feminist rule. They came to have a vile sinful nature, with desires in their bodies to do evil things.  And that sinful nature was passed down to us.    So your saying my being gay is genetic... So God's creation was defiled by sin and went in all sorts of directions that God never intended.   Like on Planes. With snakes in them. And every kind of sin that exists in the world came from that, including homosexuality.   Nuh-uh! We were born from a generation of straight guys who just loved Madonna and Cher WAY too much. Every human being is a sinner with a vile sinful nature.  That sinful nature varies somewhat from one person to another.  So we don't all have exactly the same sinful urges in us.   Like Priests. I'd never know Father Gimme-A-Name was eyeing me while I ate my cracker. But we are all sinners and have a sin problem that must be dealt with.  God hasn’t at all been taken by surprise by this happening.  God knew before He ever created the world that mankind would fall into sin and would need a Savior.   Which begs to wonder why God made the world in the first place. Me thinks someone's a sociopath. So God preplanned that He would send His Son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and shed His blood to pay the penalty for our sins.  So whoever will believe on Jesus Christ and trust Him as their personal Savior has forgiveness of their sins.  That forgiveness is a free gift from God that we cannot earn.   ...as long as you buy something first... But we must reach out to God and receive that free gift from Him.   I always did want a pony... Jesus came not only to save us from the penalty of our sins, but He also wants to save us from the sinful behavior itself.   Why? It's so much fun. When a person gets saved and born again, the Holy Spirit of God comes into that person to live.  And the Holy Spirit gives that person the ability to live the way that God wants him to live.  Sounds like something outa a Chik Track... Where's the devil that's screaming?! This explanation that I just described to you fits every human being no matter what their exact sin problem or set of problems might be.   Are you done yet? I have some gay things to do. And homosexuality is just not an exception to that.   Don't forget the lesbians, they'll get jealous if you say homosexual too much. And the solution that God provided for this works the same way as it does for those who have other kinds of sin problems.  So I should join the clergy... So we need to avoid embracing something that Jesus Christ died to save us from.   You want me to join the clergy... The idea that God made us gay is totally false.   Whine and complain, I haven't said anything more to you than "Your a poof." We need to reject acting on our homosexuality and not embrace it because it is contrary to God.   Okay, seriously, is he gay or straight? I’m not saying that God will make us straight.   I'm  saying you are. And I’m not saying that it is sinful to have gay urges and desires.   HAHA! Score one for the Flownsing Faeries! I’m saying that God wants us to learn to control our bodies and avoid BEHAVIOR that He says is sinful.   I wonder if God is like Budda, with the big round belly and bald head. Cause if he were, would it be like sacraligious for me to rub his head everytime I eat at that one chinese place...? God wants us to control ourselves and avoid sexual sins just the same as He wants straight people to do the same thing. And God has provided a way for us to do that.  We can talk about that if you want to.   I'm sorry, I burn way to many fucking calories having sex to even consider talking about it. You have to work to keep this body. But please don’t be upset because of what I have told you.   Upset? Pfft, I was having a shitty day before this. I promise you that God will help us to do what He wants us to do. God isn’t going to ask us to do something that we cannot do.   Like date a woman? I love you and I’m most happy to talk with you and help you to know how to do this.  OK?  So please don’t panic or worry or anything like that.   "...me goodbye...I'm gonna make it out alive...so kiss me..." Have you ever been saved and born again?   Oh honey, who hasn't? If not, I hope we can talk about that. God loves you more than you can possibly know.  And even though I haven't actually met you, I love you with the love of Christ.  Pervert. Take care and I hope you will email me again soon. Yeah, like when I need someone to mock. God bless you, Rick You are a poof. And not the good kind. So now I don't know if I should be gay cause if that moron is, I'm just gonna go straight and be questioning. Current Mood: Am I Gay? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, September 25th, 2006
10:54 pm	This is what my life has come to... (From an e-mail) Hi Alex, How are you? I’m doing great. My name is Rick. I am a gay guy and I saw you on XY. Would you be interested in talking about what God says about homosexuality? I know that this is a touchy subject. But I promise not to give you a hard time, put you down, or be condemning of you no matter what is going on in your life. And I will respect your right to believe whatever you want to believe and not try to push anything on you. You won’t find anyone anywhere that cares more than I do about other gay people and what they are dealing with. So I hope we can talk some about it. Have a great day and I hope you will email me back soon. Rick  My Response: Are you a poof? O.o *shrugs* Current Mood: perplexed (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, February 24th, 2006
2:32 pm	Hmm... Well, this has most deffinently been an interesting two weeks... So, last week, I was amazingly sick (I've developed my beloved Justin's skin virus) and it pretty much put me out of comission. And then this week happened... Well, that was akin to just falling into a vat of hot oil... I've been so emotionally drained because of shit happening at home. I don't know who or what to believe anymore. I'm lost... Oh well, so shall I end my drama rant. Avi mederna. (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
1:05 pm	So yeah... My first post... I'll have to think of something to actually say... Hm... Later... Avi Mederna (Comment on this)